Alumni Testimonial Blog
He finally asked for help and The Lodge was there.
May 15, 2020
“Only Hollywood actors and homeless people are alcoholics and addicts. Only THEY have a problem with alcohol and drugs… I DO NOT!”
This was my absolute certainty: a boy (I was actually a man of forty when I got sober but I behaved like a little boy) from a very good family, with a great education, creative, charming, smart, caring, with lots of friends and a family who loves him CANNOT have a problem. For me, I told myself, alcohol and drugs were a choice, a lifestyle, part of being an artist… they were necessary to create better.
What I could not see was how resentful toward the world this particular artist had become, and how fearful he was. What I could not see was that I was terribly afraid of myself, of life, of failure, of responsibility, of competition, of having to work hard in order to succeed in life… I was afraid of growing up. Growing up meant looking at myself in the mirror and I was too scared for that. Growing up meant action and I was too afraid to take any. Growing up meant admitting that shooting up meth surrounded by bugs in a stranger’s apartment was a sign of insanity.
“… the most important nine, long months of my life… the nine months without which I would probably be dead today.”
I needed help, but I was too arrogant, too entitled, and too proud to ask for it. Drugs and alcohol had given me a perfect, alternative, delusional, all empowering world to live in.
Then, on July 15, 2013, a God I was unaware I had offered me the only solution I could have accepted at the time: I nearly died. And, consequently, I was able to say: “Somebody, please, help me!” This, I believe, was the first ever, honest prayer of my life. And it was answered. I ended up in a hospital, with family and friends at my side. Alina Lodge was discovered during those days at the hospital, by asking around in our professional circle.
I arrived at The Lodge on July 26, 2013 and I left on April 15, 2014… nine, long months… the most important nine, long months of my life… the nine months without which I would probably be dead today.
Alina knew that separating me from the world for a very long period was the only chance an alcoholic like me might have to stay sober. Had they kept me much less, like most other treatment centers would have, I would have certainly used again on the first day of being back into the world. In fact, it took me the first two or three months at the Lodge just to be able to get completely honest with myself and admit that I suffer from a very serious disease that not only wants me dead but will certainly kill me if I am not willing to take a series of actions every single day for the rest of my life.
Alina offered me time to heal, to take responsibility, to ask for forgiveness, forgive, get rid of shame, accept myself and love myself for who I am. Alina made me want to live instead of wanting to disappear.
“Alina knew that separating me from the world for a very long period was the only chance an alcoholic like me might have to stay sober.”
Alina also took care of my family, holding their hand gently along, offering support and ways to understand a disease they knew nothing about. The Lodge helped us face my illness together, as one.
Alina, most importantly, provided me with the tools I needed once I was back in society. These are the tools outlined in the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Today I live by them, and I am an active AA member in my community.
I have been able to turn my life around and every morning I give thanks in the form of prayer.
Today I am excited about what is to come. Today I do not have the life I had imagined I would have before getting sober, but I am indeed alive and I get to be a good friend, a good son, a good brother, a good person.
Today I am of service to others who still struggle, and I share my experience to offer strength and hope. Today I get to look at a blue sky and at a full moon and think there is nothing more beautiful and exciting than life itself.
Alumni, Alina Lodge
Little Hill Foundation for the Rehabilitation of Alcoholics operates Alina Lodge and Haley House for Women for the purpose of helping people attain and maintain a life of sobriety.
61 Ward Road, Blairstown, NJ 07825
Alina Lodge is a premiere long term residential alcohol and drug addiction rehab facility specializing in the treatment of adults with a history of chronic relapse issues. More than just a 12 step program, our treatment program works where others have failed.
We treat all types of chemical dependency such as alcoholism and drug addictions including cocaine, heroin, opioids, marijuana, methamphetamine, as well as prescription drug addiction. If you or a loved one struggles to stay sober, contact us today.
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